Instances
by Ellina Kayde
Summary: Robin had actually verbally confessed his true feelings to her on more than one occasion, but of course Raven, being Raven, was unable to comprehend until he put it into the simplest of terms: "I love you." -RobRae; connected oneshot series


**A/N: So I've finally bucked up the courage to write a RobRae. Huh. Anyway, I got this idea while studying for finals, which didn't surprise me because for some odd reason ideas usually hit me while I'm studying. Go figure. Basically it's going to be a series of oneshots between our two favorite birds all leading up to... well, you'll see. Hopefully. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: ... Seriously? *sigh* Well, I don't own 'em. I wish I did, but I don't. So there.**

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Robin was rather surprised when Raven granted him entrance into her room. It was not only the fact that she usually forbid any and all of her teammates from entering her own private sanctuary that convinced Robin that she would most certainly turn him away, but also the fact that Raven had just been through an especially emotionally wounding experience. Robin had assumed that she would need time to recuperate and regain her former pride.

Yet even with these presumptions in mind, Robin seemed unable to keep himself away from Raven, from knocking on her door, and from finally entering into her room close behind her after her quiet but firm admission. Robin's eyes softened in sympathy as he watched the dark girl sit on the far end of her bed silently and stare out the wide window where the sun was just meeting the horizon, bashfully refusing to meet his eyes.

"What do you want, Robin?" Raven asked, her gaze unmoving, in a tiredly exasperated voice with a tone of underlying tension that would usually go unnoticed by anyone else. But this wasn't just anyone. This was _Robin_, so _she_ knew that _he _knew that she was far from being emotionally stable; however, that did not mean that Raven couldn't at least try to pull off an act of nonchalance.

She clasped her hands together in her lap nervously in an effort to keep from fidgeting under her leader's intense gaze. Robin opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again, finding that any words that he had planned to say to the girl before him were suddenly gone from his mind. What _did _he want? Even Robin himself could not for the life of him seem to recall the answer to this question at the moment, so he was forced to settle for a slightly uneasy silence while his fists remained clenched at his sides, not out of anger or frustration, but out of confusion and the need to somehow find a way to reach out to the girl who sat mere feet away from him, not only physically, but rather emotionally.

The silence had dragged on for another minute, a minute that to Robin seemed to go on for hours, when Raven spoke again. "Have you come for the same reason the others did?" She glanced sideways for a moment to briefly meet Robin's eyes. "To offer sympathy? To pity me?" At Robin's surprised but obstinate silence, she continued with a humorless chuckle and a wry smile that did not reach her eyes. "Or have you come as my leader, to give me the lecture about how I shouldn't be so quick to trust, how I should have gone to my team?"

It was the last question that finally prompted Robin to speak. If Raven really thought of him only as her leader, he felt compelled to make her realize how much more he was willing to be. "None of the above." His words came out a bit rushed, but were firm in their softness. Robin cleared his throat, trying to rid himself of a hoarseness in his voice that was nonexistent until he had met Raven's eyes through the crack of her door. "I came-…" He paused for a moment, licked his lips, and mentally prepared himself for any unexpected reply that Raven might shoot back at him. "I came to see if you were okay."

A defeated sigh was emitted before Raven finally found the courage she needed to turn fully to face Robin and capture his eyes unwaveringly with hers. The effect was immediate, and Robin suddenly found himself unable to look away. "Robin…" she began, her eyes softening and his heart jumping simultaneously as she spoke his name, "Robin, if you want the answer that I have given the other three, then I am perfectly fine." The corners of her lips twitched upwards, as if she were attempting the assuring smile she had so convincingly worn for her other teammates to silence their concerned questionings, but even Raven knew that Robin would see through her artificial smile just as he did her casual façade.

Then Raven's lips dipped downward slightly. "But if you would prefer that I answer truthfully and with all honesty, I would be telling you a completely different story." She looked at him sadly, and Robin could feel his heart ache at seeing her in such a disposition.

Robin managed to swallow past the lump that had mysteriously formed in his throat. "I'll take that last one if you don't mind." He tried to give her the genuine smile she needed and deserved, but could only produce a "smile" that accurately mirrored Raven's earlier expression.

Raven forlornly looked back out of her window, sighing. She wasn't one to let others in and openly vent her feelings to them. That meant leaving her comfort zone behind and taking a leap of faith and risk, depending upon whom she was confiding in. It was not at all often that Raven was willing to take such a chance.

But this time, Raven was just _so tired_ of the emotion. She just had to get rid of all the baggage, all the weight on her shoulders or she felt she would _collapse_. And it wasn't as if Robin were unaware of her distress. The newly formed mental bond Raven shared with him as well as the bond formed through years as one of his closer friends and fighting companions made it almost impossible for Robin to be oblivious to such strong feelings building up within her. So she gave in and decided to let Robin in… but just this once.

Taking a shaky but deep breath in preparation, she began slowly, "Honestly, Robin… I feel _hopeless_. For once, for the first time in a very long time, I was wrong, and I am now suffering the consequence for my misjudgment. I feel hurt, physically, emotionally…" Raven paused momentarily to take another deep breath, and Robin, now realizing that for some reason he himself had been holding his breath, exhaled quietly, waiting patiently for his companion to continue, which she did. "It's just… the defeat… the _humiliation_that I am feeling at this time, although not being completely new to me, is very unusual and discomforting. The last time I have ever felt so distressed… so _dejected_," she paused a shook her head solemnly, "I do not even care to recall, nor do I want to."

Then, after another moment of silence, Raven seemed to suddenly gain a bit of self-generated confidence, and her eyes caught Robin's once again. Robin felt his spirits lift slightly as a small but definite lingering pride flickered in her endless orbs. "But Robin, I know that I _will_ be alright. Eventually, I guess…" she paused, as if considering her next words. "I suppose this situation and these emotions, like all others in life, will eventually come to pass, and then I will be alright."

Robin offered a small assuring smile at her words, once again happy to be reminded that Raven was probably the strongest person he knew, a trait for which he genuinely admired her. Being a bit more bold than usual, Robin finally found himself able to move his own feet again and let them carry him across the room to sit on Raven's bed next to her. "I'm glad," he said softly, and he meant it, his mask-concealed eyes never breaking from hers.

Then another seemingly comfortable silence enveloped the pair as both gazed at the horizon which had finally darkened with the absence of the sun. Although Robin could have left his and Raven's small but comforting exchange there, there was still a question tugging at the back of his mind that he could not seem to shake ever since he had discovered Raven's… dilemma.

When Robin had learned that the dragon that had nearly destroyed the tower, the very _beast_ that the Titans had fought so strenuously against, had been the object of Raven's affections for nearly a week as well as the source of her rare shows of happiness, he could not immediately register how he felt.

At first he thought he was just purely _angry. _For some reason, at learning that Raven had confided in someone else, that she had willingly spent her time and even – maybe even unknowingly – given her heart to someone outside of her team, Robin was absolutely enraged, and no matter the amount of thought he put into the predicament, he could not understand why his newfound anger was so intense. He didn't fully understand after defeating Malchior, and still didn't understand when that old book from which Malchior came about was sealed away.

But as Robin watched Raven kneel in defeat on the roof of the tower, as he watched the shock of betrayal settle into her amethyst eyes, he finally understood. Robin understood that it was not a burning anger that had seized him so suddenly, but the green emotion of jealously. He was _jealous _of Malchior.

And _that _terrified him.

But that was also what drove Robin to feel affection and even sympathy for Raven, to feel sadness for her sadness. And it was that sympathy and that desire to bring Raven peace of mind that drove Robin to seek her out in her room to comfort her and, most importantly, find the courage to ever so cautiously ask that question that had been on his mind since the first time he had seen Raven lay eyes on her betrayer.

"Do you love him?"

Raven flinched slightly as if an old sore that had gone numb had suddenly been reopened and was suddenly causing her an entirely new pain. She herself was surprised that Robin would ask such a question and was totally unprepared to answer. But there was no taking back what had been said, no changing what had been done, so the sore would unavoidably have to bleed.

In the sudden silence, Robin did feel somewhat remorseful seeing the pain that his inquiry caused the girl next to him, but still he cleared his throat and decided to rephrase the question. He had to know. "_Did_ you love him?"

For a few more silent moments, a look of pure confusion and puzzlement graced Raven's features. Although this may have alarmed Robin at first, he couldn't help being slightly distracted by taking a moment to appreciate how the newly revealed moonlight reflected beautifully upon the delicate planes of her face. Raven opened her mouth as if she were about to speak, but then closed it again, her look of puzzlement returning. Robin wondered if she were actually contemplating how she would answer his question or whether or not she should hurt him for asking it.

Once again Raven opened her mouth, and this time she spoke, "I truly don't know, Robin. I don't… In all honesty, I don't truly understand what love is." She paused and her eyes flicked towards the carpet under her feet. "I believe I understand love and caring between close friends, even the love held within a family, such as the love I hold for my fellow teammates. How could I not view them as my own brothers and sisters?"

Robin felt his heart droop momentarily at the thought of just being a brother to Raven, but he quickly shook the thought from his mind, trying to mentally assure himself that he could be much more than a mere sibling to the girl next to him. Raven's view of him couldn't be set in stone, could it?

"But…" Robin's attention was drawn back to Raven as she spoke again, "But I believe the love that you have referred to, love of the romantic nature, is still strange to me. I don't truly understand yet how it feels to love someone as an intimate companion and confidant, so I suppose…" Raven sighed, as if coming to terms with a loss. "No, I suppose I did not love him – _do _not love him."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Robin finally found himself able to meet Raven's eyes again, yet although he was satisfied, maybe even overjoyed with her answer, he could not help feeling a small amount of guilt at the edge of his conscience for having obligated her to answer such a personal inquiry. Yes, he was inwardly thrilled at her revelation of still being a stranger to romantic love between her and another individual (other than himself, he self-consciously hoped), but he knew that she really didn't _have_ to reveal so many of her inner thoughts and feelings. But she did for him, and, of course, he was positively touched that she would do so.

Taking yet another chance, Robin allowed his fingers to gingerly curl around Raven's small hand. He felt as if he had to somehow repay her for her generous admission. "Thank you… For speaking with me, I mean."

For the first time since the incident, Raven let the tiniest of smiles manifest at Robin's honest wording. She gave his hand a small, almost weak squeeze in return, assuming that his previous action was merely to offer her some kind of comfort. "Thanks for listening," she replied with equal honesty.

Seeing Raven finally genuinely smiling (well, at least "Raven-smiling"), Robin effortlessly let a grin peel across his own face, happy that her mood at least was lifting.

Now Raven, seeing Robin beam in that breathtaking manner he had and feeling his hand still warm in hers, felt color rushing very uncharacteristically up her neck. _Why is this happening? What's wrong with me? _Raven wondered vaguely in confusion as the unusual heat reached her face. She was at a loss for why she was feeling this way, but no matter the reason, all she knew was that she wanted it to _stop_.

Not wanting to suffer any further embarrassment, she finally let her eyes break from his mask as she looked away and purposefully let her hair fall over and conceal her flushed cheeks. She slowly removed her hand from his grasp, not snatching it back quickly as her instincts directed for fear of offense.

Taking this as his polite cue to leave, Robin reluctantly stood. Robin truly did enjoy sharing these real but rare conversations with Raven and getting her to open up when he could, even with such serious circumstances. It was almost like gently luring a wild animal out of its natural habitat, making it forget caution for once and just tolerating, maybe even enjoying, new company. But Robin knew his limits as well and understood that conversations like these could only be carried so far with Raven before crossing the line. He didn't want to risk that.

So Robin headed back towards the door to the hallway, stopping to type in the code that would grant him exit, but before he stepped back out of Raven's sanctuary, he felt that there was still one thing being left unsaid. Robin didn't want that. So he turned partially towards the bed where Raven still sat, allowing himself a view of Raven out of the corner of his eye and her a view of his profie. And very timidly, very carefully, he spoke.

"You know, Raven, your family does love you. _We _love you."

And although Raven couldn't see it, those words had so much more perceived meaning to Robin than they did to her. Although Raven did appreciate the kindness of his words, she could not even begin to fathom the true underlying feeling of the statement. Raven clearly did not perceive the fact that Robin was not only saying that her family, the Teen Titans loved her, but that he was saying so much more about himself.

So with a nod of her head and a quick "I appreciate it", the rare exchange between the two birds was ended, and, unbeknownst to Raven from whom Robin so skillfully shielded his true emotions and feelings, Robin exited the room feeling a lot more than even Raven did at that moment.

And that was the first time Robin truly verbally said that he loved Raven.

But of course Raven, being _Raven_, did not understand.

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**A/N: Hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are very much appreciated. In fact, they make my day, so I would love it if you have anything to offer. Comments, complements, constructive criticism, just plain criticism... Yeah, I take it all. I truly thank you for taking the time to read.**

**- Elli**


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